Will you be ready when FBI agents break down your door in the middle of the night to administer the annual Patriotism Pop Quiz? Avoid the embarrassment of permanent, extralegal incarceration. Buy Citizen You! now and memorize before it’s too late! This is the only citizenship manual chosen by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft as mandatory reading under an obscure provision of the USA PATRIOT Act.

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Be a better American than your neighbors, then turn them in to the Department of Homeland Security for their traitorous behavior!