The Humorless Ladies of Border Control

Touring the Punk Underground from Belgrade to Ulaanbaatar

A one-of-a-kind travelogue exploring the intersection of literature, politics, and punk rock idealism in Eastern Europe, the Balkans, Russia, Ukraine, and Mongolia

“Changing the Country, We Apologize for the Inconvenience” —street sign in Kyiv

In 2009, musician Franz Nicolay left his job in the Hold Steady, aka “the world’s greatest bar band.” Over the next five years, he crossed the world with a guitar in one hand, a banjo in the other, and an accordion on his back, playing the anarcho-leftist squats and DIY spaces of the punk rock diaspora. He meets Polish artists nostalgic for their revolutionary days, Mongolian neo-Nazis in full SS regalia, and a gay expat in Ulaanbaatar who needs an armed escort between his home and his job. The Russian punk scene is thrust onto the international stage with the furor surrounding the arrest of the group Pussy Riot, and Ukrainians find themselves in the midst of a revolution and then a full-blown war.

While engaging with the works of literary predecessors from Rebecca West to Chekhov and the nineteenth-century French aristocrat the Marquis de Custine, Nicolay explores the past and future of punk rock culture in the postcommunist world in the kind of book a punk rock Paul Theroux might have written, with a humor reminiscent of Gary Shteyngart. An audacious debut from a vivid new voice, The Humorless Ladies of Border Control is an unforgettable, funny, and sharply drawn depiction of surprisingly robust hidden spaces tucked within faraway lands.

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Praise

“Captivating . . . a worthwhile addition to [the] travelogue tradition . . . likely to inspire in readers the desire to dig deeper into these histories.”
The AV Club
“Blew me away . . . a fascinating look not only into touring, but also a specific time and place.”
Vol. 1 Brooklyn
“Through a prism of eccentric (and sometimes frightening and frequently hilarious) encounters, he illuminates the lives of the people who comprise the countercultural diaspora. It is these encounters, along with his dry and often scholarly wit, that propel the narrative and make for the book’s most memorable moments.”
Cincinnati CityBeat
“Season’s Best Travel Books . . . wry and wide-ranging.”
The New York Times Book Review
“Musicians have written a nearly uncountable number of books in recent years. But unlike, say, Rod Stewart or Steven Tyler, Franz Nicolay refers to Montaigne, Tocqueville, V.S. Pritchett, Ford Madox Ford and Melville—and that’s just in a two-page stretch of the introduction to his new travelogue.”
The New York Times
“Paul Theroux meets Lester Bangs.”
Omnivoracious / The Amazon Book Review
“[A] researched, charming, and sharp account of touring eastern Europe during the days of Ukraine’s revolution, Pussy Riot’s arrest, and a hundred other memorable moments from a wandering musician’s perspective.”
Razorcake
“Captivating . . . lively, often gorgeous prose . . . his work really shines in beautiful turns of phrase that instantly transport . . . this book will undoubtedly inspire other intrepid artists—punks and as-yet-undefined—to use their work as a means to get out in the flesh-and-blood world, get dirty, forsake comfort, and find the truth.”
Chronogram
“Brilliantly rendered . . . through the eyes of a Slavic lit–loving, accordion-playing, constantly touring, insanely articulate punk.”
—Seminary Co-op Bookstore, 2016 Staff Favorite
“A musician I admire to no end . . . maker of incredible solo music, multi-instrumentalist virtuoso . . . I hate it when people who are brilliant at something I can’t do at all also write better than me. That’s grotesque.”
—Stephen Metcalf, Slate Culture Gabfest
“This is a book which symbolises the emergence of an important new voice to the realm of travel writing, one that is not only enormously eloquent but also, perhaps yet more importantly, relentlessly courageous.”
Broken Jaw Travel
“Part Paul Theroux and part On The Road . . . DIY at its best . . . Nicolay’s witty prose is perfect.”
The Big Takeover
“This complex combination of punk history, travel narrative, and politics is recommended for fans of Nicolay’s work and punk music in general.”
Library Journal
“Must-read.”
New York Post
“Great weekend read!”
Politico Playbook
“A fascinating look at punk music in the former communist countries of Europe.”
Largehearted Boy
“Adds a layer of depth by exploring the ways music, specifically punk music, inspire and unite the local populace.”
Publishers Weekly
“Funny and sharply observed.”
—Hua Hsu, The New Yorker
“Immersive, poignant, and a treat for the senses, Ladies is the next step in an already vital career for Nicolay that is required reading for fans of music, punk, or just gaining a new perspective on the world we all share.”
Chunky Glasses
“The book would be much like what Paul Theroux might write if he played the musical saw, lived on beer and borscht, and had a sense of humor . . . A pleasing romp: punk in attitude but literary in execution and a fine work of armchair travel for those unwilling to strap on an accordion on the streets of Rostov for themselves.”
Kirkus Reviews

News and Reviews

The New York Times

The New York Times Book Review includes The Humorless Ladies of Border Control in their list of the "Season’s Best Travel Books"

Gut Feelings

Gut Feelings questions Franz Nicolay on the inner-workings of his brain

The New York Times

Franz Nicolay's new book, The Humorless Ladies of Border Control, is featured in The New York Times' "Open Book" column

Publishers Weekly

Publishers Weekly reviews The Humorless Ladies of Border Control

Pages

Goodreads Reviews